A pirate with an eye patch, peg leg, and hook walks into a bar. He’s enjoying a drink when a few of the patrons ask him how he lost his leg. “Ay, me leg. ‘Twas taken by a cannonball during a battle at sea!” They ask him about his hook. “The British Navy cut off me hand and fed it to the sharks during a raid on me ship! Then they ask about the eyepatch. “A mutiny, it was. Those scallywags left me on a deserted island for days. One day I looked up and a darn seagull pooped in me eye!” The patrons start laughing at him and said that bird poop couldn’t make you lose an eye. “Ay”, says the pirate, “but as I wiped it away I had forgotten it was me first day with the hook.”